that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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