Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
