We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
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