Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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