pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
