words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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