My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
