yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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