her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
you never un-have a 4some
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
