why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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