butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
