How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
