The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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