i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
