not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
