Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
