Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
