He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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