I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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