Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
