he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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