Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
We left the knife in your bed.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
