Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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