Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
soo... how was my night?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
there is puke in my bra ... again
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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