who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
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