i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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