I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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