i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
