guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
