i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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