There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
