I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
