help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
