There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My dick has a subreddit
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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