ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
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