They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I deserve this hangover.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
