How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
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