Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
