i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
