nut hugger
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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