it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
