Fuck appropriateness.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
