Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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