You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Randomize
