Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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