I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize