dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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