I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
