Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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