Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
