I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Im part way to drunk.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
