Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
