Betty ford says i'm here all night
it hurts more in the daytime
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
